Post Whoring Newbie Thread
05-13-2009 | 02:54 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
A doctor struck up a conversation with a hard-working 75 year old rancher while suturing a mean cut on the old man's leathery hand.. Eventually the topic got around to Obama.
The old rancher said, "Well, you know, Obama is a 'post turtle.'"
Unfamiliar with the term, the doctor asked him what he meant.
The old rancher replied, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.'
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued: "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, and he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of complete moron put him up there to begin with."
The old rancher said, "Well, you know, Obama is a 'post turtle.'"
Unfamiliar with the term, the doctor asked him what he meant.
The old rancher replied, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.'
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued: "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, and he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of complete moron put him up there to begin with."
05-13-2009 | 02:58 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?""Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."Little Susie thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"
05-13-2009 | 08:30 PM
I could ride in
SuperBike
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,729
From: Dayton, TN
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.. Let's see now. . . .
No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No baseball
No football
No hockey
No golf
No tailgate parties
No Wal-Mart
No Home Depot
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
No gumbo
No jambalaya
No Beer
No Music
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
I mean, really, is there a mystery here?
No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No baseball
No football
No hockey
No golf
No tailgate parties
No Wal-Mart
No Home Depot
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
No gumbo
No jambalaya
No Beer
No Music
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
I mean, really, is there a mystery here?
05-13-2009 | 09:28 PM
I could ride in
SuperBike
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,729
From: Dayton, TN
In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20
million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated
------------------------------
Guatemala established gun control in 1964. >From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
---- ------------- -------------
Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Cambodia established gun control in 1956. >From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
-----------------------------
Defenseless people rounded up and
exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.
------------------------------
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own Government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:
List of 7 items:
Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 percent.
Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 percent.
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!
In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms
are now up 300 percent. Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not, and criminals still possess their guns!
While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.
There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the ELDERLY. Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort, and expense was expended in successfully ridding Australian society of guns. The Australian experience and the other historical facts above prove it.
You won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians disseminating this information.
Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws adversely
affect only the law-abiding citizens.
Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late!
The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson.
With guns, we are 'citizens'. Without them, we are 'subjects'.
During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!
If you value your freedom, please spread this anti-gun control message to all of your friends.
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is
supplemental.
SWITZERLAND ISSUES EVERY HOUSEHOLD A GUN! SWITZERLAND 'S GOVERNMENT TRAINS EVERY ADULT THEY ISSUE A RIFLE. SWITZERLAND HAS THE LOWEST GUN RELATED CRIME RATE OF ANY CIVILIZED COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!!
IT'S A NO BRAINER! DON'T LET OUR GOVERNMENT WASTE MILLIONS OF OUR TAX DOLLARS IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE ALL LAW ABIDING CITIZENS AN EASY TARGET.
------------------------------
In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20
million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated
------------------------------
Guatemala established gun control in 1964. >From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
---- ------------- -------------
Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
------------------------------
Cambodia established gun control in 1956. >From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
-----------------------------
Defenseless people rounded up and
exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.
------------------------------
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own Government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:
List of 7 items:
Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 percent.
Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 percent.
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!
In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms
are now up 300 percent. Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not, and criminals still possess their guns!
While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.
There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the ELDERLY. Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort, and expense was expended in successfully ridding Australian society of guns. The Australian experience and the other historical facts above prove it.
You won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians disseminating this information.
Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws adversely
affect only the law-abiding citizens.
Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late!
The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson.
With guns, we are 'citizens'. Without them, we are 'subjects'.
During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!
If you value your freedom, please spread this anti-gun control message to all of your friends.
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is
supplemental.
SWITZERLAND ISSUES EVERY HOUSEHOLD A GUN! SWITZERLAND 'S GOVERNMENT TRAINS EVERY ADULT THEY ISSUE A RIFLE. SWITZERLAND HAS THE LOWEST GUN RELATED CRIME RATE OF ANY CIVILIZED COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!!
IT'S A NO BRAINER! DON'T LET OUR GOVERNMENT WASTE MILLIONS OF OUR TAX DOLLARS IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE ALL LAW ABIDING CITIZENS AN EASY TARGET.
AMEN
@ LineArrayNut
05-15-2009 | 04:58 AM
Senior Member
Superstock
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 276
From: Ranson, WV
Why, yes it is....although I put it on consignment yesterday. The mounts are available separately.
I will now complain about stupid, first-time GunBroker users. I decided to sell my Ruger Mark III Hunter because my poo-like eyesight can't handle the fiber optic sights. This guy places several bids on the gun and wins. I send him my address for payment as well as the fax number of my local FFL (cheaper for me to pay them to mail it USPS than shipping myself via FedEx or UPS) after the auction. I have been using the old version of GB and decided to try the newer version 4. Behold, I notice that he left me feedback 12 hours after sending him my info. He gave me a 'D' rating and stated that seller is using someone else's address. Huh? His father should have 'pulled out'.
I will now complain about stupid, first-time GunBroker users. I decided to sell my Ruger Mark III Hunter because my poo-like eyesight can't handle the fiber optic sights. This guy places several bids on the gun and wins. I send him my address for payment as well as the fax number of my local FFL (cheaper for me to pay them to mail it USPS than shipping myself via FedEx or UPS) after the auction. I have been using the old version of GB and decided to try the newer version 4. Behold, I notice that he left me feedback 12 hours after sending him my info. He gave me a 'D' rating and stated that seller is using someone else's address. Huh? His father should have 'pulled out'.
05-15-2009 | 09:02 PM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
Why, yes it is....although I put it on consignment yesterday. The mounts are available separately.
I will now complain about stupid, first-time GunBroker users. I decided to sell my Ruger Mark III Hunter because my poo-like eyesight can't handle the fiber optic sights. This guy places several bids on the gun and wins. I send him my address for payment as well as the fax number of my local FFL (cheaper for me to pay them to mail it USPS than shipping myself via FedEx or UPS) after the auction. I have been using the old version of GB and decided to try the newer version 4. Behold, I notice that he left me feedback 12 hours after sending him my info. He gave me a 'D' rating and stated that seller is using someone else's address. Huh? His father should have 'pulled out'.
I will now complain about stupid, first-time GunBroker users. I decided to sell my Ruger Mark III Hunter because my poo-like eyesight can't handle the fiber optic sights. This guy places several bids on the gun and wins. I send him my address for payment as well as the fax number of my local FFL (cheaper for me to pay them to mail it USPS than shipping myself via FedEx or UPS) after the auction. I have been using the old version of GB and decided to try the newer version 4. Behold, I notice that he left me feedback 12 hours after sending him my info. He gave me a 'D' rating and stated that seller is using someone else's address. Huh? His father should have 'pulled out'.
05-15-2009 | 09:02 PM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
Why, yes it is....although I put it on consignment yesterday. The mounts are available separately.
I will now complain about stupid, first-time GunBroker users. I decided to sell my Ruger Mark III Hunter because my poo-like eyesight can't handle the fiber optic sights. This guy places several bids on the gun and wins. I send him my address for payment as well as the fax number of my local FFL (cheaper for me to pay them to mail it USPS than shipping myself via FedEx or UPS) after the auction. I have been using the old version of GB and decided to try the newer version 4. Behold, I notice that he left me feedback 12 hours after sending him my info. He gave me a 'D' rating and stated that seller is using someone else's address. Huh? His father should have 'pulled out'.
I will now complain about stupid, first-time GunBroker users. I decided to sell my Ruger Mark III Hunter because my poo-like eyesight can't handle the fiber optic sights. This guy places several bids on the gun and wins. I send him my address for payment as well as the fax number of my local FFL (cheaper for me to pay them to mail it USPS than shipping myself via FedEx or UPS) after the auction. I have been using the old version of GB and decided to try the newer version 4. Behold, I notice that he left me feedback 12 hours after sending him my info. He gave me a 'D' rating and stated that seller is using someone else's address. Huh? His father should have 'pulled out'.
yada yada yada.....he just says she is an emotional texter...i have to agree
05-16-2009 | 01:53 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
05-17-2009 | 02:50 PM
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,138
From: Austin, Tx
Either that or bandages.
I am trying to work out the details for the river float. Would it be ok if we park a motorhome on your street or the entry street for the weekend. I think I can crawl to the motorhome. I think Hays county would have an issue with me crawling to the hotel. Randy, this is lot's of room for a share deal too. Sleeps like 8.
I will be trailering in the Superhawk and so the River Road is on - we go early so we can snicker at breakfast. Nobody will miss us. LMK
I am trying to work out the details for the river float. Would it be ok if we park a motorhome on your street or the entry street for the weekend. I think I can crawl to the motorhome. I think Hays county would have an issue with me crawling to the hotel. Randy, this is lot's of room for a share deal too. Sleeps like 8.
I will be trailering in the Superhawk and so the River Road is on - we go early so we can snicker at breakfast. Nobody will miss us. LMK
05-18-2009 | 07:31 PM
I could ride in
SuperBike
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,729
From: Dayton, TN
05-19-2009 | 04:16 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Either that or bandages.
I am trying to work out the details for the river float. Would it be ok if we park a motorhome on your street or the entry street for the weekend. I think I can crawl to the motorhome. I think Hays county would have an issue with me crawling to the hotel. Randy, this is lot's of room for a share deal too. Sleeps like 8.
I will be trailering in the Superhawk and so the River Road is on - we go early so we can snicker at breakfast. Nobody will miss us. LMK
I am trying to work out the details for the river float. Would it be ok if we park a motorhome on your street or the entry street for the weekend. I think I can crawl to the motorhome. I think Hays county would have an issue with me crawling to the hotel. Randy, this is lot's of room for a share deal too. Sleeps like 8.
I will be trailering in the Superhawk and so the River Road is on - we go early so we can snicker at breakfast. Nobody will miss us. LMK
Hey Doug, i'll check and see about the motorhome parking. I don't know why it wouldn't fly.
05-19-2009 | 04:16 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
5 Yr Old's First Job
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a
little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make
you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child
the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot. The young
family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the
goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,'
more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
with her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little e jobs
to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first
week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten
dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested
that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the
next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally
impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very
own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I
worked last week with a real construction crew building the new
house next door to us.'
'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be
working on the house again this week, too?'
The little girl replied, 'I will, if those ******** at Home Depot
ever deliver the ******* sheet rock.'
Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a
little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make
you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child
the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot. The young
family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the
goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,'
more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
with her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little e jobs
to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first
week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten
dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested
that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the
next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally
impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very
own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I
worked last week with a real construction crew building the new
house next door to us.'
'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be
working on the house again this week, too?'
The little girl replied, 'I will, if those ******** at Home Depot
ever deliver the ******* sheet rock.'
Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
05-19-2009 | 06:20 PM
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,138
From: Austin, Tx
ETA friday 1900 or a little later.
Hey, what's up with the tubes? Should we bring our own or is that just a big hassle.
You mentioned you have your own but I guess you float the river a couple times a month. I know, it's cheaper than taking a shower and in Country that means something. It means I can water my plants.
This sounds like a really fun weekend. Hope we can put it together. Bestest to the New Mom & Baby!
