Post Whoring Newbie Thread
04-25-2009 | 02:26 PM
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,138
From: Austin, Tx
04-25-2009 | 02:29 PM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
That's sounds good and all, but NO!
04-25-2009 | 07:11 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Soooo, does this mean you will be on two wheels after all?
04-25-2009 | 08:26 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Where's Herman?
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain
man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain
man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
04-25-2009 | 08:28 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old
hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores
he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he
remarked at the image staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a picture
of my daddy.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy,
but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father. So he
hung it in the barn and every morning before leaving for the fields he would
go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day
after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she
looked into the glass, she fumed, ' So, thats the ugly bitch he's runnin'
around with.
hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores
he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he
remarked at the image staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a picture
of my daddy.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy,
but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father. So he
hung it in the barn and every morning before leaving for the fields he would
go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day
after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she
looked into the glass, she fumed, ' So, thats the ugly bitch he's runnin'
around with.
04-25-2009 | 08:34 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Why parents drink
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
" Yes ," whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, " No ."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, " No ."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
" ME ."
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
" Yes ," whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, " No ."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, " No ."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
" ME ."
04-25-2009 | 08:44 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
An elderly couple was driving cross country
and the woman was driving.
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."
The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
and the woman was driving.
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."
The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
04-26-2009 | 08:35 PM
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,138
From: Austin, Tx
04-27-2009 | 05:18 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
