Post Whoring Newbie Thread
02-25-2009 | 12:30 PM
Banned
MotoGP
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,942
From: Lake View Terrace, CA
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
They say "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying . . .that phrase in no time."
Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was shamed silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
They say "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying . . .that phrase in no time."
Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was shamed silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
02-25-2009 | 01:35 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.
Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.
We send our kids to schools name d William B. Travis and James Bowie and Davy Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes.
John Wayne paid to do the movie himself . That is the Spirit of Texas .
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana at San Jacinto
Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett and Sam Houston National Forests .
Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend .
Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.
In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.
Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.
We send our kids to schools name d William B. Travis and James Bowie and Davy Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes.
John Wayne paid to do the movie himself . That is the Spirit of Texas .
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana at San Jacinto
Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett and Sam Houston National Forests .
Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend .
Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.
Texas is floating the rivers of the Hill Country on a hot summer day.
Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.
Texas is beaches you can drive on and have many memorable bon-fires with close friends.
Texas is that warm feeling you get when someone asks where you're from.
Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.
Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork .
Texas is Mexican foods like nowh ere else, not even Mexico .
Texas is chicken fried steak and world famous Bar-B-Q.
Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome. (guess now the Reliant Stadium too).
Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Ann Richards, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Farrah Fawcet, Janis Joplin, Sandra Bullock, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Eva Longoria, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and let's not forget GEORGE STRAIT- PANTERA, the Big Bopper, Tex Ritter, George Jones, Clay Walker, Mark Chestnut, to name ONLY a few.
Texas is great compan ies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments, EDS and Compaq, Whataburger, Southwest Airlines, Bell Helicopter and LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter, Valero.
Texas is NASA.
Texas is huge herds of cattle, beautiful horses and miles of crops.
Texas is home to the world famous King Ranch.
Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.
Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.
Texas is skies blackened with doves and fields full of deer.
Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio.
To drive across Texas is to drive 1/3 the way across the United States .
Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.
If it isn't already in Texas , you probably don't need it.
No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas .
By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. That can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. Flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine , and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.
Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington , D.C. And we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to! We can become a republic again at any time the voters of Texas choose, and we included these things as part of the deal when we came on.
That's the best part, right there.
Texas even has its own power grid!! And don't even lie to yourself... Did I mention Live music capitol of the world?
If you are a REAL TEXAN, you won't even need to be told to pass this on.
GOD BLESS TEXAS !!!!!!!
02-25-2009 | 01:37 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
A Letter From A Granddad
Guess you heard that 68% of the youth vote went to Obama. My granddaughter called this morning to tell me she was one of them. I replied with this e-mail:
Dear Susan,
The election of Obama comes down to this. Your grandmother and I, your mother, and other productive, wage-earning tax payers will have their taxes increased and that means less income left over. Less income means we will have to cut back on basic purchases, gifts and handouts.
That includes firing the Hispanic lady who cleans our house twice a month. She just lost her job. We can't afford her anymore.
What is the economic effect of Obama's election on you personally? Over the years, your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in food, housing, cash, clothing, gifts, etc. By your vote, you have chosen another family over ours for help. So in the future, if you need assistance with your rent, money for gas, tires for your car, someone to bring you lunch, etc. ... call 202-456-1111 . That's the telephone number for the Office of the President of the United States . I'm sure Mr. Obama will be happy to send a check from his personal or business accounts, as we have, or leave cash in an envelope taped to his front door for you, as we have.
It's like this. Those who vote for the President of the United States should consider what the impact of an election will be on the nation as a whole and not just be concerned with what they can get for themselves (welfare, stimulus checks, etc.). What Obama voters don't seem to realize is that the government's money comes from taxes collected from tax paying families. Raising taxes on productive people means they will have less money to spend on their families.
Congratulations on your choice. For future reference, you might attempt to add up all you've received from us, your mom, Mike's parents and others and compare it to what you expect to get over the next four years from Mr. Obama.
To congratulate Mr. Obama and to make sure you're on the list for handouts, write to:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington , DC20500
Love you Susan, but call the number listed above when you need help.
Granddad
Guess you heard that 68% of the youth vote went to Obama. My granddaughter called this morning to tell me she was one of them. I replied with this e-mail:
Dear Susan,
The election of Obama comes down to this. Your grandmother and I, your mother, and other productive, wage-earning tax payers will have their taxes increased and that means less income left over. Less income means we will have to cut back on basic purchases, gifts and handouts.
That includes firing the Hispanic lady who cleans our house twice a month. She just lost her job. We can't afford her anymore.
What is the economic effect of Obama's election on you personally? Over the years, your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in food, housing, cash, clothing, gifts, etc. By your vote, you have chosen another family over ours for help. So in the future, if you need assistance with your rent, money for gas, tires for your car, someone to bring you lunch, etc. ... call 202-456-1111 . That's the telephone number for the Office of the President of the United States . I'm sure Mr. Obama will be happy to send a check from his personal or business accounts, as we have, or leave cash in an envelope taped to his front door for you, as we have.
It's like this. Those who vote for the President of the United States should consider what the impact of an election will be on the nation as a whole and not just be concerned with what they can get for themselves (welfare, stimulus checks, etc.). What Obama voters don't seem to realize is that the government's money comes from taxes collected from tax paying families. Raising taxes on productive people means they will have less money to spend on their families.
Congratulations on your choice. For future reference, you might attempt to add up all you've received from us, your mom, Mike's parents and others and compare it to what you expect to get over the next four years from Mr. Obama.
To congratulate Mr. Obama and to make sure you're on the list for handouts, write to:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington , DC20500
Love you Susan, but call the number listed above when you need help.
Granddad
02-25-2009 | 01:41 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
(Don't ya love military time?!)
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
(Don't ya love military time?!)
02-25-2009 | 01:48 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
They walk among us...
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back .... same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back .... same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
02-25-2009 | 01:50 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
They walk among us...
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed coupon to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed coupon to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
02-25-2009 | 01:53 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
They walk among us...
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'
02-25-2009 | 01:55 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
They walk among us...
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'
02-25-2009 | 01:55 PM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
> one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther
> away... Florida or the moon?'
>
>
>
> The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see
> Florida ?????'
>
>
>
>
>
> *CAR TROUBLE*
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic
> it died.
>
>
>
> After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
>
>
>
> She says, 'What's the story?'
>
>
>
> He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
>
>
>
> She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *SPEEDING TICKET*
>
>
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
> nicely if he could see her license.
>
>
>
> She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
> Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me
> to show it to you!'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *RIVER WALK*
>
>
>
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
> another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can
> I get to the other side?'
>
>
>
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
> shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE*
>
>
>
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
> her body hurt wherever she touched it.
>
>
>
> 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
>
>
>
> The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
> screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
> pushed her knee and screamed;
>
>
>
> likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
> made her scream.
>
>
>
> The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
>
>
>
> 'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
>
>
>
> 'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
>
>
>
>
>
> *KNITTING** *
>
>
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
> the wheel was knitting!
>
>
>
> Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and
> siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn
> and yelled, 'PULL OVER !'
>
>
>
> 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *BLONDE ON THE SUN** *
>
>
>
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
> Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
>
>
>
> The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
>
>
>
> The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the
> sun!'
>
>
>
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
> their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
> up!' said the Russian.
>
>
>
> To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're
> going at night!'
>
>
>
> * *
>
>
>
> *IN A VACUUM** *
>
>
>
> * *A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
> turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
> question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
> can you hear it?'
>
>
>
> She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
>
>
>
> * *
>
>
>
> *FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!** *
>
>
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
> dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
> saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
>
>
>
> Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
>
>
>
> 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'
>
> one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther
> away... Florida or the moon?'
>
>
>
> The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see
> Florida ?????'
>
>
>
>
>
> *CAR TROUBLE*
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic
> it died.
>
>
>
> After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
>
>
>
> She says, 'What's the story?'
>
>
>
> He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
>
>
>
> She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *SPEEDING TICKET*
>
>
>
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
> nicely if he could see her license.
>
>
>
> She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
> Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me
> to show it to you!'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *RIVER WALK*
>
>
>
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
> another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can
> I get to the other side?'
>
>
>
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
> shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE*
>
>
>
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
> her body hurt wherever she touched it.
>
>
>
> 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
>
>
>
> The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
> screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
> pushed her knee and screamed;
>
>
>
> likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
> made her scream.
>
>
>
> The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
>
>
>
> 'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
>
>
>
> 'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
>
>
>
>
>
> *KNITTING** *
>
>
>
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
> the wheel was knitting!
>
>
>
> Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and
> siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn
> and yelled, 'PULL OVER !'
>
>
>
> 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *BLONDE ON THE SUN** *
>
>
>
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
> Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
>
>
>
> The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
>
>
>
> The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the
> sun!'
>
>
>
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
> their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
> up!' said the Russian.
>
>
>
> To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're
> going at night!'
>
>
>
> * *
>
>
>
> *IN A VACUUM** *
>
>
>
> * *A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
> turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
> question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
> can you hear it?'
>
>
>
> She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
>
>
>
> * *
>
>
>
> *FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!** *
>
>
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
> dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
> saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
>
>
>
> Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
>
>
>
> 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!'
>
02-25-2009 | 01:59 PM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,188
From: New Braunfels, Texas
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up...
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season."
One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun." "As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang.' "Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
02-25-2009 | 02:06 PM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up...
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season."
One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun." "As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang.' "Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
02-25-2009 | 03:39 PM
I could ride in
SuperBike
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,729
From: Dayton, TN
