Post Whoring Newbie Thread
08-29-2008 | 05:17 AM
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,455
From: Williamsburg, VA
08-29-2008 | 05:17 AM
I could ride in
SuperBike
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,729
From: Dayton, TN
Amanda Carpenter
"
Hey Amateurs, Stand Back and We’ll Show You How the Professionals Do It
After all, they have multiple layers of painstaking editorial fact-checking, right?
Townhall columnist (and hottie) Amanda Carpenter made short work of the bogus “McCain donor irregularity” article that was on the front page of the Washington Post today. A few hours later, WaPo fessed up:
Correction to This Article An earlier version of this story about campaign donations that Florida businessman Harry Sargeant III raised for Sen. John McCain, former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton incorrectly identified three individuals as being among the donors Sargeant solicited on behalf of McCain. Those donors — Rite Aid manager Ibrahim Marabeh, and lounge owners Nadia and Shawn Abdalla — wrote checks to Giuliani and Clinton, not McCain. Also, the first name of Faisal Abdullah, a McCain donor, was misspelled in some versions of the story.
Actually, now that I’ve given it a second look, this is a different correction than the one that ran earlier. That original version, which omits the prevarication that this story was really about Sargeant all along, can be seen at this post by Amanda.As she writes, this completely eviscerates the story. There’s only one “unlikely donor” left, which means there is no there there, at least when it comes to McCain. The author of the piece, Matthew Mosk, might have had a point when it comes to the bundler collecting from unusual sources. But this was clearly supposed to be a hit-piece directed at McCain (just read the first two paragraphs).
How could they have blown this? I think you’ll only need one guess."
Linky: http://townhall.com/blog/g/97db36b4-...1-a462fbb3432e
08-29-2008 | 05:19 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
IDIOT #1
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one B&D made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two..." We haven't used this tradesman since...
IDIOT #2
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's drive thru window and I gave the teen a $20 note. Our total was $10.50, so I also handed her a fifty cents clunker. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "not really, but this way you can just give me ten dollars back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the fifty cents, and said "We're sorry but we can't do that kind of thing." The teen then proceeded to give me back $9.50 in change. Do not confuse the teenagers at McD's.
IDIOT #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council office to request the removal of the Kangaroo sign on our road. The reason: "Too many kangaroos are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
IDIOT #4
My daughter went to a local Hungry Jack's and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
IDIOT #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, and "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge"? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged colleague of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT #7
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear friend. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that animal-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT #8
I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her computer would not turn on.
IDIOT #9
When my husband and I arrived at a dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one B&D made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two..." We haven't used this tradesman since...
IDIOT #2
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's drive thru window and I gave the teen a $20 note. Our total was $10.50, so I also handed her a fifty cents clunker. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "not really, but this way you can just give me ten dollars back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the fifty cents, and said "We're sorry but we can't do that kind of thing." The teen then proceeded to give me back $9.50 in change. Do not confuse the teenagers at McD's.
IDIOT #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council office to request the removal of the Kangaroo sign on our road. The reason: "Too many kangaroos are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
IDIOT #4
My daughter went to a local Hungry Jack's and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
IDIOT #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, and "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge"? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged colleague of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT #7
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear friend. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that animal-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT #8
I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her computer would not turn on.
IDIOT #9
When my husband and I arrived at a dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
08-29-2008 | 05:23 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
One rainy spring night a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley.
Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
'Where to?' he stammered.
'Vilano Road,' answered the woman.
'OK,' he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, 'Just what the hell are you looking at?'
'Well ma'am', replied the driver, 'I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.'
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, 'Does THIS answer your question?'
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, 'Got anything smaller?'
Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
'Where to?' he stammered.
'Vilano Road,' answered the woman.
'OK,' he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, 'Just what the hell are you looking at?'
'Well ma'am', replied the driver, 'I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.'
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, 'Does THIS answer your question?'
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, 'Got anything smaller?'
08-29-2008 | 05:25 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning - though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for for giveness and release her.
The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says,
Well I'm from the University of Louisiana and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for for giveness and release her.
The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says,
Well I'm from the University of Louisiana and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.
08-29-2008 | 05:28 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow and were holding up the men's game.
"Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" asked the first man.
The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," said the first man emphatically. "Enough is enough."
He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.
"Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife and the other is my mistress."
The other man shrugged and said: "No sweat." He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, he turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said: "Small world!"
"Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" asked the first man.
The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," said the first man emphatically. "Enough is enough."
He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.
"Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife and the other is my mistress."
The other man shrugged and said: "No sweat." He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, he turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said: "Small world!"
08-29-2008 | 05:29 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said, 'Father .... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the *****. So I hid her in my attic.'
The priest replied, 'That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.''
'There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.'
The priest said, 'That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.'
'Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.'
'And what is that?' asked the priest.
'Should I tell her the war is over?''
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said, 'Father .... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the *****. So I hid her in my attic.'
The priest replied, 'That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.''
'There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.'
The priest said, 'That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.'
'Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.'
'And what is that?' asked the priest.
'Should I tell her the war is over?''
08-29-2008 | 05:32 AM
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Or your money back !!!*
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
__________________________________________________ _________
Two pigs in a pigpen. One says 'oink'.
The other says 'I was gonna say that!'
__________________________________________________ _________
Two Parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other "can you smell fish ?"
__________________________________________________ _________
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is
not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
__________________________________________________ __________
A man owned a small farm in Aberdeenshire.
The Department of Employment & Pensions claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board. The cook/housekeeper has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
__________________________________________________ _________
Two pigs in a pigpen. One says 'oink'.
The other says 'I was gonna say that!'
__________________________________________________ _________
Two Parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other "can you smell fish ?"
__________________________________________________ _________
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is
not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
__________________________________________________ __________
A man owned a small farm in Aberdeenshire.
The Department of Employment & Pensions claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board. The cook/housekeeper has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.
08-29-2008 | 05:45 AM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
__________________________________________________ _________
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is
not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
__________________________________________________ __________
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is
not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
__________________________________________________ __________
08-29-2008 | 05:46 AM
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,049
From: Leander TX!!
Cleve, there is nothing wrong with what you want to believe, just be open minded enough to consider that you could be wrong..I try to do that as well, of course I am usually righ! LOL..j/k...I mean who knows...
