What's your favorite color? Green, I mean Blue...aaaaahhhhhh

 

We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!

 

Ni!

 

No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

 

The same!

 

Who are they?

 

We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neee-wom'!

 

Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale

 

The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice.

 

Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

 

We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us

 

Well, what is it you want?

 

We want... a shrubbery!

 

A what?

 

Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

 

Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery

 

You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive

 

O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery

 

then there is the Life of Brian!!

 

Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?

**** off! We're the People's Front of Judea

 

Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!

 

So, yaw fatha was a Woman? Who was he?
Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
Pontius Pilate: Weally? What was his name?
Brian: 'Naughtius Maximus'.
[the Centurion laughs]
Pontius Pilate: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
Centurion: Well, no, sir.
Pontius Pilate: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
Centurion: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
Pontius Pilate: [guard chuckles] What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus? "
Centurion: Well, it's a joke name, sir.
Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
[guard chuckles]
Pontius Pilate: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
Brian: Can I go now, sir?
[slap]
Brian: Aaah! Eh.
Pontius Pilate: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!
[guard chuckles]
Pontius Pilate: Wight! Take him away!
Centurion: Oh, sir, he - he only...
Pontius Pilate: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
Centurion: Yes, sir. Come on, you.
[takes the guard away as continues laughing histerically]
Pontius Pilate: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. - - Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
[another guard chuckles]
Pontius Pilate: ... Dickus?
[more chuckling]
Pontius Pilate: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'...
[chuckle]
Pontius Pilate: ... Dickus?
[both guards chuckle]
Pontius Pilate: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'... Incontinentia Buttocks
Pontius Pilate: [Guards are laughing] Stop! What is all this?
Pontius Pilate: [Laughing continues] I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not - Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!

 

Damn, I really hit the nail on the head when I assigned you your special custom user title.

 

Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you,jesuz, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome stricking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.

 

Dear tiny infant Jesus...

 

Hey, um... you know sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off puttin' to pray to a baby.

 

Well look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin grace. When you say grace, you can say it to grown up Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or bearded Jesus, or whoever you want.

 

If you would get rid of that pesky 20 sec delay, I could do some real damage!!!

 

Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!